My Mother, My Daughter, My Self

(Free Association Books, London, 2016)

Dr. Jane Goldberg waited until her mid forties before she experienced motherhood and along with the passionate bond that she formed with her daughter there came a professional curiosity: why is this relationship so fundamental?

The author uses her own experiences as a daughter, as a mother of a newly-adopted baby, and as a psychoanalyst to explore an essential truth: that our relationships with our mothers affect our other significant love relationships, our values, our self-esteem, and our sense of satisfaction, often throughout the whole of our lives. She also uses the experiences of some of her patients, taken from her forty years as a practicing clinician, to provide further fascinating insights and illustration.

The book addresses the complicated nature of mother daughter relationships by acknowledging the oxymoronic nature of the relationship as both parties are simultaneously seeking individuality and closeness.The book is about maintaining intimacy with both closeness and separateness: we want both; we need both.